Mischief Managed
by Luv2read131
Summary: Sirius Black has never considered himself to be wise on the subject of love. But once he met the rest of the Marauders, he knew differently than what he was raised to believe. Romance is a different story. Sirius never wanted to drag anyone else into his world and the troubles that he faces, but when he comes face to face with Marlene Mckinnon, he may just have no choice.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to a HARRY POTTER STORY!**

 **Allow me to remind you that I own NOTHING, JK Rowling is mastery of the entire series. No copyright infringement intended.**

 **Anyways, I'd also like to take the time to say that I don't really know how much I'm going to be updating this one, since I've got a lot of other stories going on at the moment.**

 **All about Sirius Black, because I do love that guy.**

 **At any rate, enjoy!**

Right off the bat, the four were the best of friends.

It wasn't one of those things that could have been predetermined though. They were an odd mix; ranging from small and stubbly to lean rather tall. One of them spent their time reading books that the other three considered nearly completely useless, the other watched in admiration as the other three preformed what seemed to be miracles, another took pride in the attention that he received, and the final. . .well, let's just say he was someone that no one knew how to handle.

Sirius Black was what they referred to as _unpredictable._ Yes, he liked pranks and pretty girls, but at the same time above his carelessness, something much deeper and darker dwelled. Something that the other three were unaware of for the longest time. As he got older, Sirius grew only more handsome. He was lanky and well-built, his cheekbones structured high in his face above his long, aristocratic nose. His eyes were cool pools of gray, a million secrets swirled within them that girls hoped to know, although he never shared. His hair was usually left longer; since Sirius never gave much thought to his appearance. He had a carefully careless handsome air that always hung around him, brewing with mystery.

It was him, along with the three others; Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter, better known as Sirius' partner-in-crime, that were famous for the trouble that they caused at Hogwarts. And they were proud of it.

And so their story begins.

. . .

"You know," James said one day as the two boys lounged outside of Hogwarts, the early summer sun high in the sky. "I've been thinking lately."

Sirius snorted and skipped a pebble from his position on the shoreline. "Never a good thing."

James chose to ignore this. "Well, we all know what a tough time you've been having at home, mate. Don't try and deny it. And so I, being the gracious person that I am, sent an owl to my parents."

Sirius tossed another rock into the water, and it landed with a loud splash. "I've taken care of myself for a long time, and-"

"You don't need anyone else, you're completely capable of taking care of yourself, blah, blah, blah. Well," James started again. "They said that you're more than welcome to spend the summers at my house for the rest of our schooling years. Just think of it!" James said, his hazel eyes suddenly mischievous. "We could pull some of the best pranks and pick up the prettiest girls." He threw Sirius a wink.

Sirius only sighed, loosening his school tie and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. "I don't know, James." He murmured, running a free hand through his dark hair. "Orion is completely unpredictable, and Walburga," at the mention of his mother's name, Sirius made a face. "She's raging lunatic most days."

"All the more reason to come and stay at our house," James sang, poking Sirius in the side. "Come on, mate. Please just think it over?"

Sirius was about to reply when suddenly James' attention was diverted to something behind him. Sirius could only smirk as he turned around.

Lily Evans was sitting about twenty feet away from where the boys sat, a book open in her lap.

Sirius chuckled quietly as James uttered a quick 'I'll be right back,' before he marched over to where she sat.

James had taken to asking Evans out on a regular basis. It was becoming a weekly ritual of sorts, and something that Sirius was beginning to find highly entertaining. He himself had never had much time when it came to asking girls out; there was always the nagging thought at the back of his mind that his parents would find out about it, and then what? Of course, he didn't care what they did to hurt him, but if they touched someone he cared about. . .Sirius shuddered, the warm afternoon suddenly a lot colder.

His best friend, for some reason, had his heart set on Lily Evans going out with him, although Sirius was still unclear as to why. Yes, she was very pretty with her almond shaped eyes that blazed bright green and dark red hair that fell arrow straight to her shoulders before ending abruptly. Her face was pale and slightly pointed at the chin, and though she appeared sweet, Sirius knew from much experience that she wasn't hesitant to speak her mind. James was head-over-heels for her, even though she couldn't stand the sight of him, probably because the four friends had a good time taking advantage of Snape the Slimeball. Well, Sirius didn't like to think of it like he was taking advantage of anyone, but Snivellus had to be put in his place every now and then.

Sirius was brought out of his musings when Lily suddenly slammed her book shut and stood, her face turning bright red as she spun on her heel and marched back towards the direction of the castle. A dejected James slowly made his way back over to where Sirius sat.

"Chin up, Prongs." Sirius said. "She'll give in eventually."

James only scowled.

. . .

"I just don't get it," James moaned as he placed his head down on the desk. "Why won't she just give in already?"

Remus sighed, but his voice was quiet when he spoke. "Well, I don't really think that your helping anything by always picking on Snape. You know how mad she gets when you try stuff with him."

James glared. "Well, what am I supposed to do? The ugly git deserves it; it's not as if he's being very pleasant to us!"

Sirius lounged back in his chair, biting his thumbnail. "It's not like we bloody torture him, Moony. We're just looking for a bit of fun every now and then. You know that."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Right. And putting a sticking charm on him so that he spends the night on the ceiling isn't considered torture?"

James huffed. "When you put it like that-"

"-we look like demons." Sirius finished. "Which, you'd find that many would argue with. Especially that crowd of Ravenclaw girls over there." Sirius wiggled his fingers at them and they all burst into giggles. "See? They love me."

"Well, we can forget the idea about letting Snape off easily." James said airily. "Wormtail, what do _you_ think we should do?"

Peter looked up from whatever he was reading, his small, watery eyes suddenly wide with astonishment. "Me?"

James nodded. "Yes, you. Well?"

Wormtail was silent for a moment. "I don't think we should leave him alone. What's he done for us?"

James nodded. "See? Even he agrees with me."

Lupin rolled his eyes. "Well, then have it your way, James."

"Nothing new," Sirius put in. "He's getting more spoiled everyday."

James plucked a grape up from the food on the tray sitting in front of them and threw it at Sirius, who promptly caught it in his mouth and gave his best friend a big, dramatic wink.

Needless to say, the four erupted in laughter.

 **So what did you guys think of this first one? Love it? Hate it? Let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

If there was one thing that Sirius Black really and truly hated; it was Potions class.

Sirius had never considered himself to be good at anything that involved listening to what someone else was telling him to do, that alone just went against his very nature. And if that wasn't bad enough, he was forced to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair for the better part of an hour. Every. Day.

At least the other classes had some kind of substance to them; like Defense Against the Dark Arts, a class that usually involved a lot of wand-waving and incantations. Usually a good time for Sirius and James to get themselves into trouble of some kind.

He twirled his wand in his fingers, his mind wandering to his oh-so-lovely home for the briefest of moments. If he was being completely honest with himself, the thought of ever going home had his stomach turning over. He didn't even know why he was giving the dreadful place a second thought. Sirius hated his family. Loathed them. When his parents weren't dotting on his younger brother, Regulus, they were making his life hell. He'd thought of running away so many times. . .maybe he'd go through with it.

Maybe.

"Oi!" Yelled James, waving his arms to get Sirius' attention from below the stands on the Quidditch field. "Are you coming, Padfoot?"

Sirius slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way down the benches to his best friend. James' hair was predictably ruffled, and there was a wide grin on his face, which could mean two things; either he'd had an excellent practice, or he'd just seen Evans.

Given the circumstances, it was probably the former.

Sirius studied his friend closely. "Good practice?"

"Weren't you watching?"

"Er. . ." Sirius scratched the back of his head. "No, not really."

James pulled Sirius into a headlock and ruffled his hair. Sirius broke away, scowling. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry I didn't watch your bloody practice, Prongs. But some of us have more serious things to think about."

The grin slipped from James' face. "Is it your parents again?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not really. Just the thought of going back to that house makes me sick."

"My offer still stands."

"Maybe, Potter." Sirius said absently. "We'll see."

. . .

There were a lot of things that Sirius liked to do late at night, but staying up writing a Potions essay for Professor Slughorn wasn't one of them. James would just tell him to put it off, but since both he and Sirius spent more than half of their time in detention anyways, he thought that a much-needed break was in order.

Sirius yawned and glanced at the clock; one a.m. He rubbed at his eyes just as someone else entered the common room.

Marlene Mckinnon walked in, looking positively dreadful. Her blonde hair was a rumpled mess, and her brown eyes looked about ready to slip closed at any given moment. She glanced over at Sirius only once before collapsing into the nearest armchair.

"Alright there, Mckinnon?" Sirius asked, placing his quill in his mouth as he rifled through a stack of papers.

She shot him a look. "Leave me alone, Black."

"Just a simple question."

Marlene gave him another glare that could shoot daggers, her brown eyes blazing. "Well, you don't need to know the answer, now do you?"

Sirius just blinked.

"Complete rubbish," she said, getting up and walking past him.

"Sweet dreams," Sirius called, just to annoy her.

An angry huff was the only response.

Sirius' essay took him about twenty minutes more before he decided to give it up and go to bed.

. . .

 _Orion eyes were black and gleaming._

 _Sirius felt the sick lurch in his stomach as he looked up at his father, whom had a sly grin creeping across his features. He'd always hated his dad, and maybe that made him a bad son-he used to think so when he saw how much Regulus adored both mum and dad, but he himself could never bring himself to do it. Everything that they were saying was wrong; about how pure bloods were the only ones who really mattered in his world, and half bloods shouldn't even be getting half of the privileges that they did._

 _It wasn't that he was afraid of his father per say, but Sirius had never looked forward to seeing him again._

 _"What makes you think that you can talk to me that way?" Orion said, his words a hiss as he spoke through his teeth. Sirius knew that he wasn't really that angry, anything that gave him the chance to torture his eldest son was something to be welcomed._

 _Sirius gritted his teeth. "Nothing."_

"Nothing?" _Orion snapped back, running his hand along his belt. "Hm. I bet it's those Gryffindors that you hang around so often. Now if you had been in Slytherin, that's an entirely different story. You wouldn't be such a disgrace to the Black family name."_

 _Something like this should have gotten under Sirius' skin, but he couldn't bring himself to care. As far as his parents and the rest of his family was concerned, he'd always be someone to look down their noses at. He'd consider himself to be lucky to be anyone but a Black._

 _"Well?" Snarled Orion. "What do you have to say for yourself?"_

 _Sirius shook his head. "Just leave me alone."_

 _This was exactly what Orion had been waiting for. Before Sirius could manage to say much of anything, Orion lunged at him, the buckle of his belt tearing through Sirius' white T-shirt. He felt the skin on his back tear, along with a great flash of pain. But he was going to get through it-_

 _"Sirius!"_

He jolted awake, almost shocked to find that he wasn't in Grimmauld place at all, but in the Gryffindor tower at Hogwarts. Relief flooded through him.

Sirius blinked as he realized that James was sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing his glasses and a frown. Sitting up, Sirius pulled his soaking wet shirt away from his body with a grimace.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his chest heaving. "Don't worry about me, Potter. It was just a bad dream."

Even though James didn't fully understand what went on back at Sirius' house, his gaze turned sympathetic. "Your parents again?"

Sirius swallowed and nodded. "It's so stupid, isn't it? They're miles away, nothing they do can hurt me now."

James shook his head. "We have a spare bedroom at my house-"

"It's risky," Sirius cut in. "If they find out where I'm staying-"

"-they won't-"

"-but if they did, then I'd be hurting you and your family, and I can't do that."

James sighed. "Honestly, Padfoot. Don't you trust me enough by now to know that I've got your back?"

Sirius gave him a small, crooked grin. "Yeah, except for when your girlfriend is around the corner."

James' cheeks colored the tiniest bit. "Very funny. But your my best mate, Sirius. Nothing comes between the two of us. Not even Evans."

Sirius chuckled, but not even he could hide the fact at how good it felt to here James say it.

 _Aw, I love Sirius 3_

 _Anyways, tons of writing going on, soooooooo that's why this one took so long to upload._

 _Hope you all like it, and much more to come! :)_

 _Happy Friday!_


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost towards the end of the school year.

With about a month remaining, this left the student body of Hogwarts practically giddy with anticipation. School books were dumped into the common rooms to collect dust, girls giggled as they sat on the banks of the lake, dipping their feet into the water and perhaps even wading when it was hot enough, and boys watched them, their eyes fixed on the prettiest of them all.

Everyone was excited, everyone had something to look forward to.

That is, everyone expect for Sirius Black.

Maybe it seemed stupid of him, people would certainly be appalled if they found out that he wasn't looking forward to the summer holiday, but the thought of home brought an unpleasant twist to his intestines. He was sure his mother was going to be up to her dear old tricks, and Orion was going to be no better, if not worse, than his lovely bride. Regulus was going to be as hopeless and as awful as per usual, and the holiday was generally going to resemble something closer to a stay at a prison than a vacation.

As disturbing as this all was, Sirius could find nothing in him that was thoroughly terrified. Perhaps there was simply no part of them that they had left to break.

Maybe he was already shattered into a million pieces.

He shook the thought off with a frown, watching as James planted dung bombs in the most unexpected of places, sure to be found by some petty first years later on. Sirius smirked at the thought.

"Make sure Mcgonagall doesn't come across one again," he said lazily, twirling his wand in his fingers, watching as wisps of light flowed from it. "She really wasn't too happy about it last time."

James grinned as he glanced over at Sirius, glasses slightly askew on his nose. "It was a good laugh though."

Lately, James seemed to be taking the whole practical joke idea to a whole new level. Sirius wasn't sure if it was for the benefit of Lily Evans, or if James simply wanted to finish off the school year feeling quite pleased with himself.

Sirius grinned, running his free hand through his hair. "Better than good, mate. Where's Remus?"

James shrugged, turning his eyes back to the task at hand. "Who knows? Last I saw him, he wasn't feeling too good."

Sirius' grin slipped. Lupin had been feeling rather ill lately, he'd noticed. And more so than usual. Although Lupin rarely wasn't either sick or tired, or sometimes both, Sirius sensed that something was different about this time. His friend seemed to be growing more and more distant, and now that Sirius was thinking about it, he hadn't seen him all day. The only reason he'd been brushing Remus off was because the others didn't seem to think much of it, but then again, Sirius wasn't sure to what extent James or Peter paid attention to anything.

"I'll be right back," he mumbled, ignoring the look of bewilderment on James' face. He'd deal with that later.

Once he was out of James' sight, Sirius began to walk a little more quickly, his heart pounding in his chest. He wasn't sure what was putting him so on edge about all of this, but going by the knotted feeling he had in his stomach, he was betting that it wasn't anything good.

Sirius figured his best bet would be in the dorms, since Remus was known to spend a great amount of time lurking there when the full moon was approaching.

He lengthened his strides and was soon face to face with the Fat Lady in no time, and she did not look pleased to see him.

"Back again, are we Mr. Black?" She said with a heavy sigh, as if his presence truly was the bane of her existence.

Sirius blew out a long breath, already feeling himself growing tired of the conversation. "Never mind that, Lady. Just let me in."

"Aren't we forgetting something?" She asked, looking down at her nail beds, turning them this way and that. "I don't just let anyone in."

"Protego Totalum." Sirius replied, pinching the bridge of his nose.

She smiled and shook her head, flicking her hand towards the opening. "In you go."

Sirius marched past her, not even bothering to bark out a thank you. A few first years were lingering in the common room and looked absolutely petrified when Sirius walked in, but he could hardly pay much attention to that right now as he hurried to the dormitories where Remus was sure to be.

He reached the top of the steps and threw the door open, about to open his mouth and demand to know what was going on, but Lupin's bed was empty.

No one was here.

With a frown, Sirius turned on his heel and almost ran headfirst into Peter.

"Sirius!" Peter squeaked. "You won't believe what's happened-"

"Not now, Pettigrew." Sirius snapped, nearly shoving the boy out of the way.

"But Sirius-"

Sirius turned, his eyes darkening. In that moment, his expression was so frightening that Peter shrunk back a step. "Unless you know where I can find Remus," Sirius snapped, his tone rigid, "I suggest you leave me alone."

"I do," Peter continued unexpectedly, his voice slightly higher than usual. "You see Sirius, he's-"

Before Peter could get three more words out of his mouth, James sprinted into the common room, looking near winded as he bent over on his knees, his breath coming in short pants.

But that wasn't what alarmed Sirius. James' face had gone terribly pale as if he'd just had a bad shock, and there were patches of bright crimson on his cheeks. Yes, something was truly, terribly wrong.

"Sirius," James said, gasping for air. "Lupin's been arrested."

 **So. . .I guess that I'm back?**

 **My only excuse is Spanish class. It's been KILLING me, alright?**

 **So that's what I have to say for myself. Also, I lost inspiration for this story, but now I really do want to see it through because I do have some more crazy ideas. . .**

 **Okay, tootles! Hopefully I'll update again a lot sooner next time.**

 **Oh, and if you're still reading this book, I seriously LOVE YOU!**

 **-Sara**


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius was staring vacantly at the white wall in front of him.

Such an odd color, white was. Not quite a shade, but certainly not one color. If you were looking at it in just the right angle, Sirius supposed it could be a whole multitude of colors and perhaps that was why it could never be classified as one color in the first place. . .

He'd been going out of his mind for the past hour and a half.

If Sirius Black had been more in touch with his emotions, he would have been a pool of stress right about now. As it was, Pettigrew seemed to be doing enough nail-biting for all three of them, and James was doing a decent job at keeping his expression composed. If Sirius hadn't known him so well, he never would have been able to detect that look of anxiety behind James' gaze.

Sirius was quite sure nothing had shocked him more than hearing the words, 'Remus Lupin _in jail."_ The mere thought, the very idea of it, was so ridiculous that under different circumstances, all four boys would be laughing hysterically.

If any of them was going to be thrown in Azkaban, then their best guess would be Sirius would be the first to go.

It wasn't anything personal, but given his family history, Sirius didn't doubt his own abilities in terms of landing himself in that dreadful place sometime in the near future. But the thought of Lupin in there with the dementors was enough to make Sirius sick to his stomach. Perhaps there was some way he and Lupin could switch places. Remus was one of the kindest people that Sirius knew, and he himself had envied Lupin's easy ability to be gentle with things and people in general. Sirius was rough on everyone and everything; including the people he cared about.

Perhaps it was the fault of his parents, but maybe something inside of Sirius Black had been born broken and there was no way that he could possibly fix it.

He wasn't surprised by how little that shocked him.

Just as Sirius had successfully drowned himself in self-pity, Dumbledore threw open the office door, looking as close to worn-out as the boys had ever seen him.

Immediately, all three boys began talking at once.

"What's happened?" Demanded James, looking as if he was about to grab Albus Dumbledore by the front of his robes and shake the answer out of him. "Where's Remus?"

"Please tell us he hasn't been arrested." Peter squeaked, his voice going up an octave.

"Is he going to be alright?" Sirius asked lastly, glad that his voice didn't quaver.

Dumbledore held up a hand, and the room grew silent at once.

"Remus Lupin is, at the present moment, residing in the hospital wing after a nasty incident that took place this afternoon that I cannot disclose to the three of you. All you need to know is that he is going to be alright and all he really requires is a good night's rest. It has been an exhausting day for him."

"Are they going to send him to Azkaban?" Sirius blurted out.

Dumbledore looked him right in the eye. "Of course not, Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin will be staying in Hogwarts."

Sirius' shoulders sagged with relief.

"Can we go and see him, then?" James demanded.

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course. I won't keep you."

They all uttered quick words of thanks before they were racing down the hallway towards the hospital wing.

It seemed they were not the first, nor the only ones here.

. . .

Marlene knew she shouldn't have been so surprised to see them.

Remus was, after all, their best friend. She had been expecting a lot more dread when Sirius Black walked into the room, but strangely she felt almost nothing.

His dark hair was perfectly rumpled and his school tie was loose around his neck. The setting sunlight illuminated his face, making the sharp angles and planes a lot more prominent than they usually were. He looked like a beautiful statue as he stood there, staring at Remus.

And then his eyes flickered up to her's.

His gray eyes had darkened, his jaw tightening fractionally for a split of a second before he looked back at the floor so quickly that she was sure, for a moment, that perhaps he hadn't really looked at her after all.

"How is he?" James was the first to speak up, his gaze lingering on Lily, who for once did not glare at him, but moved her eyes to Lupin, who was lying in the hospital bed, his chest rising and falling steadily with each breath.

"Better," Marlene's best friend murmured, tucking her red hair behind her ear.

Sirius began tapping his foot on the floor. "Well, can we see him then?"

Marlene looked back up at him, but his eyes were on Lily, narrowed into fine slits.

"Oh, well." Lily said, shooting Marlene a glance that said they'd better leave. "I suppose we should step out. Marlene?"

She nodded, standing and walking past the boys. Sirius took her arm for a moment, stopping her in her tracks.

"Thank you," he murmured, his eyes lowering to meet her own. They were lighter than usual today, she noticed dazedly. Like the light gray of clouds just as a storm is about to approach.

 _Don't even go there, McKinnon._

Marlene, on the other hand, just stood there with her lips parted, surely looking like an idiot. "O-of course," she said, hating how her voice stuttered like it had.

Sirius smirked. "Well, I'll be seeing you, McKinnon." He said before he released her and she was stumbling out of the hospital wing after Lily.

When she had gotten out, her best friend merely frowned at her, a little crease appearing between her perfect eyebrows. "What was that all about?"

Marlene shook her head, sparing one last glance at the boys surrounding the bed of their best friend before the doors sealed shut behind them. James was at Remus' side, his face turned from her so that she couldn't read his expression. Peter was standing, biting anxiously at his fingernails. She turned once more to Lily, who was still watching her with a curious gaze.

"I don't know."


	5. Chapter 5

Worrying was futile.

It was a lesson that Sirius had taught himself quiet well over the years; _don't worry, everything will be fine._ It was his mantra for family gatherings where he was taunted; his parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, all laughing, taunting him, and nights when his mother screamed at him so loudly that it left his eardrums ringing for hours afterwards.

 _Everything will be fine._

This was not true, of course. Everything would not be fine. But Sirius found some comfort, no matter how small, in these words, these stupid, ignorant words that he had whispered to himself in the early hours of morning, when he had cried himself to sleep as a child. . .

 _Fine. . .fine. . .fine_

What did that even mean?

"Sirius?"

He blinked, his eyes shifting so that his gaze could focus on the girl standing mere feet from him.

 _Marlene._

Her long, blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders and she looked. . .apprehensive, for the first time since Sirius had met her. She was always full of fire, always ready to meet what was coming next.

Hesitation did not suite her.

Sirius' heart was still pounding in his ears from reciting those words over and over again to himself. He knew that he probably looked as if he'd gone mad; sitting on the common room couch in the middle of the night, his head grasped between his hands as he tried to find some semblance of solid ground to stand on, something that was normal and good.

Something that wasn't going to come. Not to him.

He swallowed, cracking his lips into a grin. "Back again for more late night pillow talks, are you? I knew you couldn't stay away."

Almost at once, Marlene's earlier unease vanished and she was frowning once more. "I was wondering what all the noise was down here. All that whining woke me up, Black."

Sirius shrugged, leaning back against the couch and putting his hands behind his head. "I don't whine, love. I suggest you take yourself back upstairs before you hurl more startling accusations against me."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Your infuriating. How's Lupin?"

Sirius swallowed. "I'm not sure," he said, staring into the flames. "It's. . .odd, not having him around. I couldn't sleep, so I came down here."

She gasped, placing a hand over her heart. "Sirius Black, worried? I never thought I would see the day."

He lifted a shoulder. "Silly me for being half human. But I guess I can't help it, can I?"

Marlene bit her lip. "I am sorry, Sirius. It's just strange, to see you so distraught."

Sirius yawned, stretching his arms over his head. "Now you've bored me to sleep, McKinnon. I suppose we should both head back up before the sun beats us to it," he rose from the couch, then turned, raising an eyebrow at her. "Are you coming?"

She waved him off. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Sleep well, Marlene."

Sirius climbed the stairs and had to stop himself from slamming the door behind him. The room was dimly lit with the moonlight, the sky turning faintly green outside, signaling that morning was well on its way. He walked over to his bed and sank down onto it, lifting a hand to run it through his hair.

Friends were dangerous. Not in and of themselves, but because of what would happen to them. He already risked enough befriending James, Lupin, even blasted Peter. But they were the only family that he had, and they understood.

Marlene McKinnon was a different story altogether. For how long would these midnight meetings go on for that were held in the common room of whispered secrets that felt too fragile to share once the sun rose? Secrets broke things. They teared and ripped apart.

And Sirius' secret was a dangerous one.

What if he lead himself into telling her? She would surely look upon him with disgust-a boy who lived in the shadows of the night and made himself out to be the Devil himself? She would see him as selfish, and then it would get around school, his one and only safe haven. Then everyone would know about Sirius Black, the one whose family doesn't even want him that badly; _have you heard that they beat him and that he doesn't stop it? He doesn't even try to defend himself! I heard that he even disappointed his own family, what a joke! Just look at him-bruises and scars everywhere-can't be so different on the inside, now can he?_

He ground his teeth together, and the voices came to a stop. _No._ He wasn't going to tell Marlene. He wasn't going to be made out as vulnerable and weak. He was going to avoid these meetings with her at all costs, because Sirius knew that trusting anyone was a risk. It had taken him years to warm up to the three friends that he had now, and he wasn't going to expose himself like that again.

Sirius took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. _Everything will be fine._ The smile that crossed his face was bitter, even after all these years, when was he ever going to learn?

Maybe never. Maybe giving up on the prospect of hope, of the one good thing in his life-just waiting for that day when he would be free of his family, to look back and to not see them behind him, was the reason that he kept going.

He fell back against the bed, his eyes slipping closed almost immediately.

 _Perhaps it isn't such a bad thing, to live as I do now. Surely at times I find myself seeking for something more, and sometimes there is that craving inside, a hole I cannot fill, but this is safer._

 _I am not safe, but if I keep going on like this, than everyone else will be._


	6. Chapter 6

"So what's been going on between you and Mr. Black?" Mary asked, wiggling her eyebrows playfully as the two of them walked down one of Hogwarts many corridors. It was a sunny afternoon, the light slanted through the windows, casting shadows on the floor. "I've seen him and you together a few times."

Marlene rolled her eyes, barely managing to bite back her annoyance. "And? Can't two people be friends?"

Mary sighed wistfully, her eyes glazing over for a moment as if she was thinking of something far off. "Not when a friend looks like _that."_

Marlene made a face, wrinkling her nose. "He's not all that wonderful, you know. Sirius complains and whines and everything else under the sun. He's not exactly what you'd call _perfect."_

"Ah ha!" Mary crowed. "So you do admit that he is, even just a tiny, little bit, great to be around?"

"I said _not_ all that wonderful."

"Yes, but even so, that implies that-"

"Talking about me again, ladies?"

Marlene whirled around, and despite herself, felt her cheeks flush bright, bright red.

Sirius was standing behind them since they had stopped walking for a moment to argue. His gray eyes were alight with mischief, and there was a smile in his mouth that always seemed to pop up when Marlene got herself into unwanted situations. Yes, he would be very easy to swoon over; dark hair, pale eyes, nice face; on the outside, everything about him was perfect.

But Marlene knew that under all of that charisma there lay a very, _very_ confusing teenage boy.

"Of course not," Marlene snapped, finding her voice again. "You really don't need to be so arrogant about everything all of the time, you know."

Meanwhile, Mary was standing there, her expression slightly awe struck. Sirius didn't fail to notice this; he waggled his fingers at her in a mocking wave.

"Anyone alive in there, MacDonald?"

At his words, Mary's face reddened. "Hi, Sirius." She said, her voice hushed as she fiddled with a strand of her dark hair.

His lips twitched before he turned his attention back to Marlene.

"What do you want now?" She said, tempted to turn and keep walking, but Marlene knew that Sirius was much faster than she was, and if he really wanted to catch up to her, then it wouldn't take him a minute.

"To say hello." Sirius spoke with a grin. "It's been all night since we last spoke. Did you expect me to forget?"

Marlene stared at him. "You've gone mad," she said, almost to herself. "I've got to get to class."

Just as she was about to turn around and walk away, Sirius grabbed her arm, his fingers wrapping around her bicep. At that moment, something that felt like an electric shock traveled up Marlene's arm, and she glanced back at Sirius, surprised.

Although she had expected him to be smirking or looking at her with that mischievous glint in his eye, but he looked almost as bewildered as Marlene was sure she did. His eyebrows furrowed together as he released her, stuffing his hands back into his pockets.

Marlene felt the loss of contact almost immediately.

"Er," Sirius cleared his throat, the first time Marlene had seen him struggling for words. But she needn't have worried, because a moment later, his face was alight with his usual smirk.

"Well, as you've so brilliantly pointed out McKinnon, we'd both best be on our ways," he arched an eyebrow. "Don't you agree?"

Marlene felt herself nodding along. "Yes. I suppose so."

For a second she thought he was going to say something else, but Sirius seemed to stop himself before he threw her one last winning smile.

"See you around, Marlene."

And with that, he turned and walked away, his lope slow and graceful.

A moment later, Mary had attached herself to Marlene's arm.

"What was that?" She asked, sounding near breathless with confusion and excitement. "Did you see the way he was looking at you?!"

Marlene shrugged off Mary's hand. "He wasn't looking at me in any kind of way at all."

Her friend's eyes glinted mischievously and Marlene could already tell that she wasn't going to like the response that she was about to get. "Yes, he was. You just didn't see it."

With a roll of her eyes, Marlene started once again in the direction of her classroom, and this time, Mary didn't try to stop her.

. . .

James was near furious with himself.

Well, now that he was really thinking about it, it wasn't really himself that he was mad at at all. No, it was someone else. Someone with slimy black hair and soulless eyes that seemed to burn right through him. . .

He clenched his fists and tried not to punch the wall, mostly because he really didn't want to have to explain that to Madame Pomfrey, who was sure to slap him on the wrist anyways.

But he couldn't stop himself from envisioning his fist flying into Severus Snape's face.

The image was quite pleasant in his mind, but he knew that in reality, the aftermath would not be nearly as pleasurable.

After all, how was he supposed to help himself when the ugly git was walking so close to Lily that it looked as if the two of them were joined at the hip? James knew that they were friends, and although he couldn't understand why, all he really knew was that when he saw Lily laughing, looking so carefree, that he wanted her to look at him like that. But as it was, she had taken to frowning when she was around him, her eyebrows pinching together in the middle.

Oh no, she was not a fan of James Potter in the least.

He clenched his jaw and continued moving forward so rapidly that if he had been going any faster, he would have surely missed Remus, who was ducked away in a corner, leaning up against the wall.

James skidded to a stop. "Moony?"

Hearing the nickname, Lupin nearly jumped before turning to face his friend.

Who, as James could now see, was not alone.

Marlene McKinnon stood in front of him, speaking in a low voice. She paused however, when she noticed that she and Remus were no longer alone.

"Oh," she said, tucking some hair behind her ears. "If you'll excuse me, I really should be going."

James didn't miss the look that she shot Remus before brushing past James and disappearing down the hallway.

But James couldn't find it in himself to question why on Earth the two of them had been conversing when Lupin looked at him.

His expression was wane and tired, the hollows of his cheeks becoming more and more prominent, which was beginning to worry James. He was looking a bit thin too, now that James was really taking a closer look-

"What is it now, Potter?" He demanded, his voice cracking as he spoke. "Can't you see I'm preoccupied at the moment?"

James shrugged. "You don't look well, Lupin. Is. . .is everything alright?"

After the incident that had occurred a few days ago, Remus had been quiet. None of the other boys really knew what had happened, but they didn't dare ask. The look in Moony's eyes said that no questions were welcome.

But James ignored that warning now.

"Everything's fine," Lupin said through gritted teeth, pushing himself up off of the wall. "I need to get to class."

James knew that he should have gone after him, he should have done something.

But instead he stood there, looking after him in bewilderment until Remus turned the corner and disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily wasn't sure what was going through Marlene's head.

She had been convinced for the longest time that she knew her best friend better than anyone else on the face of the planet, but lately, Lily found herself doubting this theory more and more.

Her face was hard to read as they sat in the Great Hall, eating dinner. Marlene's expression, usually so open, wasn't giving anything away. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy knot, long strands falling out to frame her oval face. She looked tired, Lily noted. At least she could pick up on that.

"Marls?"

"Hm?" She replied, propping her head up on her chin. Although she was looking at Lily, there was something vacant in her eyes that told her other things were being analyzed in her mind.

Lily lowered her voice. "Those Slytherins. . .they're not bothering you again, are they?"

Marlene blinked. "What? No, no! Merlin's beard, that was _ages_ ago."

"Oh," Lily said, biting her lip. "Is something else on your mind?"

For a quarter of a second, Marlene's eyes flashed down the table before looking back to her friend. "No," she said quietly. "I'm alright."

Lily frowned before she focused her gaze on where Marlene's had been just moments before.

James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were all sitting there. Three of the four boys were laughing, but the fourth one remained silent, his elbows propped up on the table.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

She had to admit, out of all the people that could have been bothering her best friend, she had never suspected Remus Lupin. He was, by all accounts, the sweetest of the bunch and Lily secretly favored him above the others. Potter's ego was much too big for his head, and Black's was much the same. As for Pettigrew. . .well, he was more of a follower.

So what on Earth was wrong?

Under normal circumstances, Lily would have pressed Marlene further, but given how exhausted she appeared, Lily figured that she was going to have to figure it out for herself.

She supposed that in some way, it made sense. Maybe Marlene was distressed about what had happened a few days ago in the Infirmary. Although there was nothing terribly upsetting that had occurred. . .but that had to be the only reason that the two of them looked so miserable.

Once again, Lily looked back and forth between Marlene, who was stirring her soup absentmindedly, and Lupin, who was rubbing at his face.

It was then that her mind was made up.

. . .

After dinner, she sought the four boys out.

Truth be told, they weren't very hard to find. Just as always, they were being loud and rather boisterous as they made their way out of the Great Hall. James Potter's tall shock of dark hair wasn't hard to spot.

And of course, Lupin was right behind him.

Once Lily was close enough, she grabbed Lupin's sleeve. "Excuse me," she said as he turned to face her. "Might I have a word?"

He raised an eyebrow as the other three boys turned to stop and look. The good humor had faded from James' eyes, and the corners of his mouth were turning down as he narrowed his eyes at the two of them.

"Come on," Lily said, pulling him away from the others.

"Now, hold on a minute Evans," James said, taking Lupin's other arm. "Just where do you think you're going?"

Lily gritted her teeth, barely managing to keep her irritation at bay. "I just need to speak with Remus for a minute or so-"

"About what?" Lupin said, looking thoroughly bewildered. "What have I done now?"

Lily sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to be able to separate him from the other three boys. "Something's wrong with Marlene," she said, trying to keep her voice hushed as she shot James a nasty look. "She was looking rather upset at dinner, and I was hoping that you could tell me why."

Apparently she wasn't quiet enough as she liked, because Sirius Black didn't hesitate to include himself in the conversation.

"What's the matter with her?" He demanded, his tone bordering on warning as he shoved Pettigrew aside. "What's she upset about?"

Lily threw her hands up in the air. "I don't bloody well know! That's what I've been trying to ask Remus!"

"I can't think of anything that I've done, Lily." Lupin said, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean, I did see her in the Infirmary the other day, and she did seem alright, but I haven't spoken to her since-"

Now it was James' turn to look confused. "But I just saw you two whispering earlier today-"

 _"What?"_ Sirius demanded. "Whispering where?"

"In the corridor," James said, his eyebrows drawing together in the middle. "It looked to be a pretty serious conversation-"

Sirius' jaw tightened, and he muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'no good git' before he shook his head, pushing past his friends. "Excuse me."

Just like that, Sirius Black had extracted himself from the conversation and was now walking at an alarming rate in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

"I'm so confused," Lily moaned, rubbing at her aching temples. "Did you or did you not talk to Marlene today?"

"I did," Lupin said, shooting James an irritated look. "But it was something of little consequence."

"I'm afraid I don't understand-"

"Just stay out of it, will you?" Lupin snapped, and Lily blinked, shocked by his sudden change of mood before he shook his head and headed off after Sirius, Pettigrew scurrying after him.

That left her with James.

Lily folded her arms over her chest as he came closer to her, his expression sheepish.

"Sorry about Marlene," he said. "I hope she. . .er. . .feels better soon?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll keep you updated on that," she said, skirting around him. "But now I really must be going-"

"Wait!"

Although Lily wasn't sure why, she turned to face James, who was now looking a little nervous.

"Yes, Potter?"

He ruffled his hair, which Lily was coming to see was something that he did when he was apprehensive about something.

"Spit it out," she said, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

He hesitated, an ironic little grin coming back onto his face. "Nothing," James said. "Goodnight, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Potter."

About halfway up the staircase, Lily looked back to see if James was following her up to the dormitory.

But there was no one. The corridor was empty.


End file.
